Sex Therapist - Sex Addiction Recovery Treatment and Relapse Prevention
Affirmotive's intensive treatment plan to STOP sexual and pornography addictions and compulsive sexual behaviours offers solutions and prevention. It can change your life and is time and cost effective.
Sex addiction, unlike most addictions, has multiple ways to manifest and express itself. Affirmotive's effective treatment plan acknowledges the genetic, biological, social, and environmental factors involved with sexual addiction, and specializes in treating the different forms of the condition.
The most common forms of sexual addictions include compulsive masturbation, pornography, internet sex, telephone sex, multiple partners, frequent change of sexual partners, prostitutes, fetish, paraphilia, and sexual anorexia.
Affirmotive's 'Sex Addiction Road to Recovery' Treatment Plan
Private sessions face to face, phone, live-online, skype.
Taking a history.
Emotional, psychological and environmental risks factors and triggers.
Sexual desire and arousal disorders in sex addiction.
Sexual dysfunction in sex addiction.
Shame, guilt, anxiety.
Trauma recovery.
Working with sexual intrusions, preoccupations, and obsessions.
Dealing with paraphernalia.
Working with denial, secrecy and dishonesty.
Developing tools and controlling urges.
Thought control techniques.
Voice and Body Dialogue techniques.
Mindfullness techniques.
Withdrawal from toxic sex.
Treating the physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms.
Sobriety.
Self-care.
Emotional fittness.
Sustaining healthy sexual boundaries.
Lapses, relapses, and prevention.
Maintenance.
Support.
Support for Partners.
Return to Normal Healthy Sexuality.
Protect your computer from sex, porn, and chat sites as a part of your recovery plan. You can choose from a variety of filters. Affirmotive presents two independent options;
If you think you might be addicted to sex or porn, or you know somebody who's life may be affected by sexual addiction, you might be interested in bookmarking this page. For further information on sex addiction and how Affirmotive's sex addiction therapy can benefit you, please contact Heide on 0419 430 534 or email heide@affirmotive.com.
Heide McConkey is a leading professional sex therapist. She has developed the unique model of Voice/Body Dialogue in Sex Therapy, for a faster and more effective treatment of human dysfunctional sexual behaviours and sex addictions.
'Untreated sex addiction is like a bargain exchange of short-term extreme pleasures for a long-term steady high-cost meltdown of one's lif
'To the degree that we are not held and bonded, we will find something to hold on to, some substitute for that holding that we did not get'. Sam Keen
Sex addiction does not discriminate, it can happen to anyone. Sex addiction has a specific definition; 'The inability to stop your sexual acting out when you want to, despite your awareness of the adverse consequences of your behaviour. It disrupts your life with you spending inordinate amounts of time satisfying your cravings.'
Sexual addiction is not a moral failure, but a function disorder between different parts of the brain.
Sex addiction is a treatable disorder. Professional Sex Addiction Therapy provided by Affirmotive achieves control over toxic sexual behaviours and faclitates relapse prevention, and a return to normal and healthy sexuality.
Signs of Sex Addiction. Ask yourself .......
Do you have a pattern of out-of-control sexual behaviours?
Do you keep secrets about your sexual behaviours. Do you lead a double life?
Do your sex needs lead you to having sex with people or in places you would not otherwise choose?
Do you find yourself drawn like a magnet to sexually arousing objects, materials, magazines, pornography, sexualising articles, or sex-scenes in various media including TV and film?
Do you have difficulty concentrating due to you shifting on to sexual fantasy?
Do you fear to be asexual? Do you avoid sexual relationships and/or touch, including touching your own body?
Do you feel remorse or shame after your sexual activities?
Do you find your new relationships having the same destructive patterns that have destroyed your previous relationships?
Are you experiencing severe negative consequences as a result of your sexual behaviours?
Have you seriously but unsuccessfully tried to stop your out-of-control sexual behaviours?
Are you persistently trying to cut down on your sexual activities?
Do you persistently pursue high-risk self-destructive sexual and/or non sexual activities?
Do you use sex or sexual obsessions as your primary coping strategy in dealing with moods, sadness, anxiety, inadequacy, overwhelm, self-rewards, anger, stress?
Do you need to increase your sexual experiences because you are disappointed or bored with your current level of satisfaction?
Do you experience severe mood shifts around your sexual activities?
Do you spend inordinate amounts of time in preparing for sex, being sexual, and recovering from sexual activities?
Do you have difficulties meeting your occupational, social, marital, parental or recreational demands due to your sexual behaviours?
Do you neglect self-care by prioritizing sexual activities over your needs for health, safety, recreation, food and sleep?
Are you in financial difficulties because you spend significant amounts of your money on sex?
Do you experience financial or occupational set-backs as a consequence of your sexual obsessions and behaviours?
Do you resort to anger, distress, restlessness, anxiety, violence if you are not able to engage in your sexual behaviours? (Relating to SRD, Sexual Rage Disorder).
Are you at risk of, or have you broken the law to feed your sexual needs?
Demystifying and Understanding Sex Addiction
Development
An infant experiencing faulty early care giving is more likely to develop impaired attachment abilities. As a consequence and later in life, an affected person may be at risk to form unhealthy attachment bonds to sustenance and behaviours, including sexual behaviours.
Childhood trauma such as neglect or abuse, including early exposure to pornography, sexual suggestion, sexual touch, molestation, incest, rape, or abuse of a non sexual nature are often reported by affected individuals. Some people however do not remember any behavioural abnormalities in their up-bringing, but experience sexual addiction disregarding.
Stress can also play a significant role in sexual behaviours, with sex and sexual fantasies being used as a means for stress reduction.
Addictions require professional treatment. There is growing evidence of a combination of contributing factors, including emotional, social, biological, genetic, and physical influences.
Sex addicts 'self medicate' on sex to achieve a high. Sex is used like a drug and can be experienced with or without a partner.
Coming down from a sexual high can promote psychological and physical withdrawal symptoms from mild to severe, including; cravings, urgency, irritibility, short temper, headaches, concentration difficulties, blurred vision, poor sleep, feeling sick, pains and heaviness in groins area, and a feeling of 'going crazy'.
Love addicts 'self medicate' on lovers to achieve a high. Sex is not a primary concern, but is used to keep the lover interested.
Love addicts tend to lose interest in their partners quickly, and may experience intense episodes of aloneness and depressed moods. These feelings are commonly overcome by moving into a fantasy bond with an existing or new partner, or by pursuing a new relationships.
Sexual Anorexia
An often overlooked aspect of sexual addiction is the phenomina of sexual anorexia. Sexual anorexics get their boost from abstaining from sex, similar to food anorexics who take control by self starving. Sexual anorexia is a controversal and confusing way of controlling a fear of losing oneself as a person in an intimate relationship, and is characterized by any of the following signs;
Distortion of thought
Obsessional self-doubt about sexual adequacy
Distortion of body image
Fear of sexual pleasures
Avoidance of intimacy due to sexual fear
Self-distructing behaviours and depression
Shame and self-loathing over sexual experiences
Occasional periods of extreme sexual promiscuity
Extreme loathing of body functions
Rigid and judgemental attitudes about sexual behaviours of self or others
Self-distructing behaviours to stop, limit, or avoid sex
Avoidance of anything connected to sex
Sexual anorexics may compensate with a number of chemical or behavioural addictions, or with depriviation behaviours including compulsive cleaning, saving, debting, spending, hording, or various phobia responses. Familiy, culture, and religious groups of sexual anorexics may also impact on their views supporting sexual oppression and repression.
Background
Sex addiction is not primarily about sex or orgasm but about chasing a high. Fantasizing about, or acting out sex, releases various neurotransmitters (brain chemicals) e.g. dopamine and endorphins. Glutamate, another brain chemical, burns the experience into the brain's memory bank.
Sex addicts carry their drug of choice inside of them and can get a hit when ever they want, even if sexual acting out is only a fantasy act.
An additional chemical named phenylethylamine or PEA also seems to play a role in a biological basis for sexual addiction. PEA is a brain chemical, commonly present in states of euphoria and falling in love. Researchers have argued that elevated levels of PEA boost feelings of infatuation, excitement and euphoria.
There seems to be some evidence that sex and love addicts may depend on elevated levels of PEA. Although these persons do not use any substance, they may experience similar symptoms of craving and withdrawal.
A sex addict 'on the chase' may experience similar symptoms as common in drug addiction, such as sweaty palms, a quickened pulse, rapid breathing, and dilated pupils. Sex addiction is a condition that can be compared to certain characteristics of drug addiction.
Sexual addictions develop over time, and if left untreated increase in intensity and severity. Urges to act out are typically preceded by specific triggers including; inviting environments, access, self-permission giving, stress, anxiety, anger, irritability, tension, frustration, boredom, tiredness, hunger, loneliness.
Fantasizing about sexual scenarios or acting out sex will for a short time provide a high, relief, and relaxation, followed by feelings of shame, guilt, and often self loathing and disgust.
In order to relieve symptoms, sex addicts typically act out more sex, or divert to co-morbid addictions, such as alcohol, drugs, nicotine, eating, glamour, spending, exercising, etc.
Compulsive rituals carried out to set the stage for acting out sex, typically promote a state of euphoria and arousal in itself, and is part of the addiction.
Rituals may include arranging private time, getting in the mood, choosing a prefered environment, and grooming behaviours.
Over time, untreated sex dependency becomes the centerpiece of a sex addict's life, with an ever increasing appetite for sex to the point of insatiable.
Sex addicts may lose control over their situation. The sense of being out-of-control, can lead to restricted lifestyles, social withdrawal, mood difficulties, and hopelessness.
Frequently, individuals with this difficulty may also suffer from substance dependency, depression, anxiety, intense feelings of aloneness, and suicidal thoughts.
Many sex addicts experience difficulties in managing the demands of work, family, and social expectations.
Behaviours
Stage one acting out
Compulsive masturbation
Compulsive and excessive use of pornography
Compulsive use of internet sex
Compulsive use of phone sex
Compulsive relationships
Compulsive sex avoidance or sexual acting out
Increase and escalation of sexual experiences
Inability to stop
Violation of sexual boundaries, (e.g. relationship, workplace, friends, strangers)
Anonymous sex
Compulsive use of sex workers
Compulsive use of establishments (e.g. bars, brothels, saunas, massage parlours, sex clubs, escort services)
Frequent switch between sex partners
Devoting inordinate amounts of time to sex (fantasizing, preparing, acting out)
High risk sexual acting out behaviours despite consequences of exposure, infection, injury, or accident
Please note that most sex addicts do NOT progress to stage two or three behaviours.
Stage two acting out
Exhibitionism
Voyeurism
Indecent phone calls
Sexual touching without permission
Violation of sexual boundaries, (abuse of power by professionals; e.g. doctors, lawyers, counsellors, teachers etc.)
Stage three acting out
Sexual behaviours involving violence
Rape
Incest
Child molestation
Child pornography
Untreated sexual addictions carry a high risk to mental and physical health
Depression
Isolation
Mood disorders
Substance abuse
Self harming
Accident or death as a consequence of high risk sexual or non-sexual behavior
Increased risk for contracting and spreading sexual transmitted infections (STI's)
Suicide
Imprisonment
Note! Only some sex addicts become sex offenders. Affirmotive has a mandatory reporting duty if the counsellor has knowledge or sufficient reason to believe that a crime, including a sex crime, has been committed or is planned to be committed.
Affirmotive does NOT have an obligation to report a person AT RISK ONLY. Sex addiction is a treatable disorder.
If you have recurrent thoughts of suicide, you must immediately contact your counsellor, doctor or nearest hospital!
